HOW TO ATTAIN TRUE LOVE: INSIGHTS FROM THE QURAN AND HADITH

Love is one of the most profound emotions a human being can experience. It is the force that binds hearts, the longing that shapes our relationships, and the devotion that defines our deepest connections.

But love, in its truest form, is more than fleeting emotions, temporary passions, or worldly attachments. It is a connection that transcends time, deepens the soul, and leads the heart toward eternal fulfillment.

In today’s world, love is often portrayed as an emotional high—something to be chased, possessed, or lost. But the Quran and Sunnah reveal a far greater love, one that is not just about feelings but about purpose, devotion, and a journey towards the Divine.

So how do we attain true love? How do we distinguish between love that is temporary and love that endures beyond this world?

1. The Illusion of Worldly Love

Love that is based only on worldly desires is fragile and short-lived. It changes with time, depends on circumstances, and often leads to disappointment. The Quran reminds us that the attractions of this world—whether wealth, relationships, or status—are temporary and a test, not the ultimate goal of life.

Temporary Attachments in the Dunya

Allah Says:

زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ وَالْبَنِينَ وَالْقَنَاطِيرِ الْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ الذَّهَبِ وَالْفِضَّةِ وَالْخَيْلِ الْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَالْأَنْعَامِ وَالْحَرْثِ ۗ ذَٰلِكَ مَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَاللَّهُ عِندَهُ حُسْنُ الْمَآبِ 

“Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire—of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.”

(Surah Aal-e-Imran 3:14)

Loving people, wealth, or success is natural, but when these become the center of our lives, they can distract us from what truly matters.

How many people seek love, only to feel empty? How many tie their happiness to another person, only to be heartbroken when that person changes or is no longer there? True love must be connected to something everlasting—our Creator, whose love is constant and never fails.

2. The Greatest Love: Love for Allah

At the core of true love is the love of Allah, a love that surpasses all others and brings true contentment. This love is the foundation of faith, and without it, a person’s heart becomes attached to temporary desires that ultimately lead to disappointment.

Misplaced Love vs. True Love for Allah

وَمِنَ ٱلنَّاسِ مَن يَتَّخِذُ مِن دُونِ ٱللَّهِ أَندَادًۭا يُحِبُّونَهُمْ كَحُبِّ ٱللَّهِ ۖ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَشَدُّ حُبًّۭا لِّلَّهِ ۗ وَلَوْ يَرَى ٱلَّذِينَ ظَلَمُوٓا۟ إِذْ يَرَوْنَ ٱلْعَذَابَ أَنَّ ٱلْقُوَّةَ لِلَّهِ جَمِيعًۭا وَأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ شَدِيدُ ٱلْعَذَابِ

“And among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they should love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah…”

(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:165)

This verse highlights a profound truth—misplaced love is dangerous. When people obsess over wealth, status, relationships, or their desires, they risk making these things their ultimate purpose, forgetting that true fulfillment comes only from the love of Allah. The love that believers have for Allah is deeper than any worldly attachment because it is eternal, unwavering, and unconditional.

The Key to Gaining Allah’s Love

The strongest and purest love is that which brings us closer to Allah and His pleasure. Allah told us that true love for Allah must be demonstrated through action. True love for Allah is expressed through devotion, obedience, and longing to be close to Him:

“قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ” 

“Say, [O Muhammad], ‘If you should love Allah, then follow me, so Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.’”

(Surah Aal-e-Imran 3:31)

Loving Allah means obeying Him, following the Prophet (PBUH), and striving for righteousness.

The highest and purest love is the love for Allah. It is a love that soothes the heart, fills the soul, and lasts for eternity. Unlike human love, which is imperfect and often conditional, Allah’s love is absolute, merciful, and ever-present.

Putting Allah’s Love First

Many claim to love Allah, but when desires, relationships, or material possessions compete with that love, where does our heart truly lean? Do we love Allah above our own comforts? Do we place Him before our ambitions, our wealth, and even our families?

Allah warns against letting worldly attachments take precedence over love and devotion to Him:

قُلْ إِن كَانَ آبَاؤُكُمْ وَأَبْنَاؤُكُمْ وَإِخْوَانُكُمْ وَأَزْوَاجُكُمْ وَعَشِيرَتُكُمْ وَأَمْوَالٌ اقْتَرَفْتُمُوهَا وَتِجَارَةٌ تَخْشَوْنَ كَسَادَهَا وَمَسَاكِنُ تَرْضَوْنَهَا أَحَبَّ إِلَيْكُم مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَجِهَادٍ فِي سَبِيلِهِ فَتَرَبَّصُوا حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَ اللَّهُ بِأَمْرِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الْفَاسِقِينَ

“Say, [O Prophet], ‘If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your spouses, your relatives, the wealth you have acquired, the trade you fear losing, and the homes you cherish are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His cause, then wait until Allah brings about His command.’”

(Surah At-Tawbah, 9:24)

This verse is a profound reminder that love for Allah and His Messenger should be greater than any worldly attachment. It lists some of the most cherished things in life—family, wealth, and security—not to dismiss them, but to caution against allowing them to overpower our devotion to Allah.

When tested, do we choose what pleases Allah or what pleases our desires? If our love for Allah is conditional, only present when life is easy, then it is not true love. But if we are willing to sacrifice, to uphold faith even when it is difficult, then our love is genuine.

This verse concludes with a warning: those who prioritize worldly attachments over Allah will find themselves distanced from His guidance. It serves as a wake-up call—where does our ultimate loyalty lie?

4. Love in Marriage: A Divine Gift

Islam recognizes romantic love, but it places it within the framework of marriage—where it is protected, nurtured, and made meaningful.

Marriage as a Blessing from Allah:

“وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ“

(And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.) (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21)

Marriage is not just about attraction; it is about tranquility, love, and mercy. True love in marriage is built on patience, sacrifice, and faith.

5. Loving Others for the Sake of Allah

The purest form of love is one that is free from selfish motives—a love that is solely for the sake of Allah. This type of love is not based on personal gain, status, or fleeting emotions but is rooted in sincerity, faith, and a shared commitment to righteousness.

The Prophet ﷺ emphasized the immense virtue of such love, stating:

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ،أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِﷺقَالَ: “سَبْعَةٌ يُظِلُّهُمُ اللَّهُ فِي ظِلِّهِ، يَوْمَ لَا ظِلَّ إِلَّا ظِلُّهُ … وَرَجُلَانِ تَحَابَّا فِي اللَّهِ اجْتَمَعَا عَلَيْهِ وَتَفَرَّقَا عَلَيْهِ”.

“There are seven whom Allah will shade on a day when there is no shade except His… and two people who love each other for Allah’s sake, meeting for that reason and parting upon it.”

(Bukhari & Muslim)

Loving someone for the sake of Allah means wanting for them what brings them closer to Him, supporting them in righteousness, and maintaining sincerity in the relationship. This kind of love not only strengthens bonds in this life but also earns a special reward in the Hereafter.

Conclusion: The Ultimate Test of Love

True love is more than words or emotions—it is reflected in what we prioritize and what we are willing to sacrifice. While family, wealth, and success are valuable, they should never take precedence over our devotion to Allah.

The real test of love lies in our choices. When faced with challenges, do we hold firm to our faith, or do we allow worldly attachments to take over? Those who truly love Allah will find peace and fulfillment in His love—a love that is eternal, unwavering, and never fails.

May Allah fill our hearts with sincere love for Him and guide us to live by it. Ameen.